I AM APATHY

I grow with no nurturing, love, or support, I prey upon the condolences of the beaten-down and betrayed.
I am hated by the efficient, yet that encourages the pain I bring.
Those that embrace me have little idea that I even exist and prosper in the light of their own darknesses.
I move backwards as I stand still, I am endured by races of people against the hopes of their most distinguished and decorated.
I am the lover and encourager of deeds that produce nothing, I am the prosperous time-taker.
I am the seeker of life light, the extinguisher of small bright flames, I am the deceiver of those in servitude.
I am the distinct enemy of development. I am the ghost of the vote
I call myself apathy!
I was there in the wasteland of ideas, I am present in support of those that talk loud and say mostly nothing
I am the sponsor of non action, the liberator of wasted resources.
I call my offspring and decedents derogatory names and hasten their demise with alibis and justifications for makeshift.
Your life is not your own when you subscribe to my popular philosophy
I call myself apathy!
I excuse my minions from all political thought, processes, and genuine know-how
I truly love that others will get’r done and keep a large measure of control of my subordinates
I know what I don’t know and that’s cool with all that I know. I have no need for understanding or knowledge
Leave that to those other folk
I march on to a solid existence of true ineptitude and squander my childhood passions because of what they say
I see no skill around me, maybe because I make sure all of my eyes remain shut
I see no good, speak no good, and, Jah, God, Jehovah, Allah, forbid, do no good…what good would it do?
I call myself apathy!
Who will move me?
There are no brave souls that will identify me. To afraid to be called out you know
Teachers allow me at their beheast for many of their kind embrace and entertain me
Parents welcome me while telling them THIS IS IT!
I am apathy and you need to know me too!
You see I must ensure that the apathetic masses remain with me. It is what feeds the world that moves around the wrong way!

Trennan E. Gamble

Is your child hanging with the wrong crowd, or is your child THE WRONG CROWD?

Ever really think about who the “wrong crowd” is? We hear often that someone was hanging out with the wrong crowd, or that someone’s child started associating with the wrong crowd and this was instrumental in the social behavior declination. My mother even told me to watch the crowd and company you keep, she told this to all of her six children. My father did the same. In fact, I am sure that every parent worth their weight in a pile of trash has expressed this to their dear children, nieces, nephews, cousins, and grandchildren. This is sage advice and it usually comes from experience. I know this to be great advisement, believe me!

When my mother was expressing this to me, I wondered who and where this crowd was. You see, she never gave me any specifics about this “wrong crowd” that I was to avoid.She really never gave me any names. It would have been instrumental in my development and oh so less stressful in avoiding issues if I knew, by name, the personalities in the “wrong crowd”. Many people, many problems, anonymous villains. I have a real issue with this.

You see, no one wants their child to be the “wrong crowd”. Delinquency in youth is often disguised as cute. Let’s repeat that… Delinquency in youth is often disguised as cute. She is so cute dancing to “Back that thang up”. He is so cute trying to sag his pants, or gangster walk, or screaming “white power”. Often parents that ARE themselves the “wrong crowd” encourage this behavior. The greater problem is that no one tells them that they are the “wrong crowd”. I can remember in my military days my sister got into a bit of trouble. My mother called me and told me that she had taken in with the “wrong crowd”. Although no parent wants to hear this, I told my mother that my dear sister WAS the “wrong crowd”. This seemed to be a revelation to her and not something she was prepared to confront. I have been one who always felt that acknowledgement of an issue is 1A in bringing a resolution to that issue. I thought that I was doing my mother a favor in letting her know that her child was the one that other people warned their children to stay away from.

Like almost any parent, she did not want to receive this. By not bringing this to the light and dealing with it, a monster was created. This monster still desires much attention in our family. Many times parents ignore the 1 ton elephant in the room. I hope you realize that everyone else notices it and they smell the stench as well.

Please recognize if your child is the “wrong crowd”, recognize if you are the “wrong crowd”. Try your best to deal with the issue head on because the fight is one that is well worth having and it will be an arduous battle. The enemy, whatever it may be, is strong as well as being up for the battle. If you do not deal with the elephant it will grow, and grow, and grow, and there will be no more room in the house for others to visit you. It will be just you and the 5 ton elephant in the room! Is your child the “wrong crowd”?

I am not a smoker, but I AM mad that the government is telling me I can’t

Whatever happened to adults making adult decisions for themselves? Why have we so readily conceded and accepted the new “nanny state”? I am not a smoker nor do I ever aspire to be one. I happen to think the addiction/habit to be disgusting and vile. I also happen to think that adults should be able to determine if they want to smoke or if they agree with me. The fact that so many municipalities have banned smoking in bars and clubs is just too ridiculous to me. I thought these were the places you went to exercise your right to legally engage in behavior of the adult nature. Not a place where our “new parents’ could still shake a finger at us.

Why do so many smokers have to be subject to banishment because one idiot doesn’t like it or feels it is unhealthy for them? If you feel that way, I have a quick solution…DON’T PATRONIZE OR WORK IN THE ESTABLISHMENT!!! I happen to be a person who fails to see the enjoyment in filling ones lungs with the poisons that lead you into pain and death, so I purposely navigate away from establishments that cater to that crowd. Novel idea, right! I also enjoy the fact that they can choose to smoke if they wish to in a place where other smokers converge. The promise of this being a free nation and the thought that your adult directives not come from the government is quickly eroding. We are in the midst of teaching our children that they are no longer responsible for their actions, the government is. In that, we are also teaching them that we no longer have the will or the capacity to raise them morally and sensibly. We just quit…thinking that is!

Be really careful about the power you give to the office of Presidency, for your candidate will not occupy it forever. The power remains with the office and gets to be better exploited by the next person calling 1600 Pennsylvania home. I really hope people contemplate this as it concerns all offices all the way down to their elected dog catcher. Things done “for the good of the public”, should be critically studied before they are accepted. They should also be carefully monitored with a way to ultimately undo the deed when such a need arises.

I am very critical of knee-jerk reactions that spawn governmental interference with our lives. The killers of James Byrd should get the death penalty because of the murder of a man and because of the manner in which it was carried out. I don’t want the government to insult me by HAVING to consider the death penalty because it was a hate crime. What will happen when these same laws are used on a black person who has a career of victimizing other black people? Is his next crime considered a hate crime? Better question, what happens when that career criminal African –American commits a murder against a white person…and get this…all of his previous victims were, wait for it…WHITE! How many brothers will be locked up for hate crimes in the next 20 years? I wonder. I am not a conspiracy theorist; I am just one brother who tries to think it all the way through before reacting!

Sometimes the solution IS the problem

The world is not designed for everyone to be successful. As cruel as this sounds, there is a need for victimhood. Victimhood creates industry for those that want to sale products and services. If everyone did things the right way, I feel pretty sure in saying that most people reading this would be devoid of a reputable career. We all need screwups, wrongdoers, advice-ignorers, and just plain unproductive people. Our own screwups, as well, create jobs for others. Do you really believe EVERY doctor wants you to practice healthy eating habits, exercise daily, and practice Tai chi chuan? Have you ever thought about the fact that judges are lawyers too? And you thought your simple indiscretion could be easily handled with ONE court date.

With this being true of us all, there are also those that generally don’t want to get it right. For these people, fixing their issue would be the problem. Everyone is not really looking forward to living a stress-free existence. Some people like being in, around, or a contributor to confusion. They like drama. It is up to the service renderer to determine if the person or persons receiving your service, knowledge, advice, council, resources, and time are redeemable or a person with whom drama will continue to find fertile ground.

You see, these people are not interested in your solution. What they are interested in is your attention, time, and resources. You continue to expend all of the above and you start to believe that maybe, juuust maybe, your approach is their issue. It is! You have to let some people either reach their bottom or live in their own self imposed sentence of heartache. You can’t help them all, I’ve tried!
Did you really believe that in a world of 6 billion people Olive Oil could not find a way to stop running into to Brutus? I don’t think that poor Popeye ever realized that stopping Brutus from harassing her would be the real issue. He just kept downing more and more spinach to get her out of her latest predicament. Funny how some youngsters now call money spinach. Saving career victims from their adversaries can create THE problem. It gives them nothing to blame and many of them can’t have that!

Often your attempts to reconcile their issue instead of feeding it are met with disdain and name calling. Have you ever heard these?

You are not better than me.

You forgot where you came from

Everybody aint like you

Or the best one….I will do it later(fix the issue)

You must decide if each issue is worthy of your continued effort or if you need to stand away and be there when the person really needs you to help them help themselves. You can’t fix everyone or every problem, but you can start by fixing the way you handle your service, knowledge, advice, council, resources, and time as it pertains to a revolving issue…think about it!

There are those among us who continue to have the EXACT SAME issue all the time, even when all other players and factors are interchanged. They remain the common denominator. Different mate, same problem. Different job, same problem. Different child, same problem. Different place of worship, same problem. Different neighborhood or house, same problem. Different WHATEVER.....SAME PROBLEM!

Some people don't want to be saved, they just want the attention that comes from chronically being the victim.

Are you too comfortable to be scared?

Our lives are directed by the many small choices that we make that will largely affect our futures. Lives lived or lives wasted, these crossroads force us to pick a way to the next objective. Sometimes this objective is positive and at times during the countdown to our eventual next life, the negatives seem to expand exponentially.
What we chose to do to grow or shrink should be more closely scrutinized. Because you are maintaining, this does not diminish the opportunity for drastic catastrophe. A wiser, older person once told me that she works out and eats right not to avoid death, but to avoid the turmoil that an excruciatingly painful death could cause her loved ones. Her exact quote was, “Trennan, this is not about living or dying, it is about avoidable suffering!” She believed that God was in control of HIS part and she needed to get some control over hers. This was quite a revelation to a 27 year old youngster who assumed he knew it all. I had no idea I was a mere 3 years from figuring out I knew NOTHING.

Fear can be an extremely great motivating factor in being all that you are meant to be. I have always had a health fear of God, my father, and failing to continue after a failure itself. I now know that there is growth in each failure. I also know that many more people have failed than the number of those that have tried.

Clouding and masking this healthy fear, quite often, is comfort. There are so many people that are so comfortable that they are not afraid. They find comfort in their situation, their health, their education, their finances, their relationships etc. to be afraid. I am never so comfortable with my wife that I sit in front of the television and pop back beer and expand my girth. You see I know that she wants to see something that is pleasing to her senses. I know she loves me regardless, but I love her enough to not get too comfortable. We still date, we still wrestle, and we still travel. I take nothing that she has helped me to become for granted.

You see I am too scared to ever become to comfortable. I watch people eat like they have no idea that they are killing themselves. I watch people so comfortable that they never consider how these small decisions affect those they leave behind. I watch people abuse their comfort into situations that render them unable to reverse negatives and continue on cobblestoned roads of undoing. I watch physical inactivity turn into decay of the mind and limbs.

Fear can be an awfully strong point of origin for invention. It can make you become what you never ever perceived. Comfort can be something to aspire to but be mindful that it can create a monster of paralysis. If you are too comfort to fear what you should fear get it together!!

Balance is the secret to a peaceful life

Balance is the secret to a peaceful life. Not too much and not too little will suffice. Many lives are lived in a tumultuous manner because people are not aware of “enough”. Enough time doing what, enough resources, enough spirituality, enough candor, enough leisure, enough work, enough of someone else. There must be a point where your cup runneth over.

In adulthood there are pressures that can overwhelm the most astute among us. We can all be overcome with just plainly “too much”. Everyone has a breaking point. That breaking point is usually achieved over a period of time that may cause the water to either boil or dissolve. This will depend on your state of being in life at the moment. There must be lucid moments that can help you concentrate on your harmony, your symmetry, your steadfastness, in another word….your precious balance. You have to know when too much has been handed to you. You have to also know how to give the extra burden away and to whom to give the extra burden to. The last sentence was VERY important! I do know that we all don’t believe the same but you must know where your help comes from.

You have to seek that help or, if spirituality is not for you, find a way to relieve yourself of said burden, IF POSSIBLE! Some burdens are yours alone and there is usually a reason that you have been chosen to carry this responsibility. Many people are too serious with the weight of the world on their shoulders. They fail to realize that there are 6,814,800,000 of us with an annual increase of 1.8% each year. Surely some of us can help you with the tremendous weight on your shoulders. You only have to be willing to share the burden.

Life is a blink of an eye and should be enjoyed to the fullest. There must be a time and a place for all things. How would you know that you are in good time if you have no idea what bad times are? How do you know that there is a God if you have never been made to call his name? How do you know that victory is sweet unless the sour taste of defeat has been on your lips? How do you know he is a Prince if you have kissed no frogs?

Love but let go, dance to the bad music too, smile at an enemy, listen although you have heard it already, pose foolishly when no one is looking, and learn even though you are smart. Be the one to recognize that it is over. Recognize when you need to stop pushing “your” God on to others. Be willing to be of service to others, even when you may miss the festivities.

There must be time to relax, worship, love, be stupid, watch low-brow television, scream loudly, do something you probably don’t want anyone to know about. Run a marathon or walk it just because others think you can't. Find time to work out, physically, mentally, socially, and spiritually! Don’t wait until you are 50 to start living that catch up life. IT AINT THAT SERIOUS! Most of our complications come from our own minds but someone else’s thoughts. Figure out what really balances your life. Go for it and love every moment. Find your Yang…Ying!

Unconditional Love - Yeah right!

I am The eternal optimist. I believe the human race is essentially good. I believe that people mean good by me and really want to see me avoid harm. I know that we are born in sin and taught to do right; we just ignore our lessons sometimes. A child with no rearing will more often than not do the wrong things. Right is something of a learned behavior that is nurtured and not natural, but something we really want to live by. I am optimistic in this to a fault. I maybe even naïve.

I believe that most parents love their children unconditionally, I said MOST. I say this because some parents love their children little and some love their children not at all. This parent/child dynamic is, in my opinion, the only unconditional love these children will experience between themselves and another human in their entire lives. Let me state it clearly: A parent’s love is the only love that will be unconditional. This is if you are lucky enough to have a parent who first loves you.
Understand that all other love in your life will come with at least one condition and most of the times multiple conditions. Parents are gluttons for punishment in this way because their unconditional love will not allow them to “wash their hands” of some of you that should be left to your own conscious devices, habitual acts, heinous activities, and downright stupidity and ignorance. Even though this is in you, your parents love never diminishes. Your parents will still profess their love for you when Texas is wheeling you in by gurney to answer for the murders of many including your relatives and even an attempt on that parent’s life. Google Bart Whitaker to see just one example of this unconditional love.

Others will profess to love you unconditionally but they lie. A spouse will love you until you cheat enough, kill a loved one, spend their life savings, and a whole host of other misdeeds. This love is not unconditional. You cannot just apologize to a spouse for ANYTHING. There is a line in each marriage that is to not be crossed, I promise. Cross this line and the love turns to hate and disgust. The same is true of relatives, friends, and others that profess to love you unconditionally. There is a line to their loving you and you will reap the punishment and drought of their particular love when this line is jumped.

This conditional love even exists in your children. They love their parents as long as they are useful and doing their bidding. Many of us carry this conditional love for our parents into our adult lives. Many of us think that we love them unconditionally until it is time to change their soiled diapers. Watch the way they treat Big Mama! This is not everyone. If it is you-check yourself. If the good lord blesses you, you too will be Big Mama or Big Daddy one day. I am just thankful that this is not true of all children.

No other human being will love you unconditionally through all of your stink, mess, ugliness, candor, stupidity, foolishness, mistakes, misjudgments, falsehoods, crimes, lies, etc. Everyone else will cut you off and “wipe their hands of you” except your parents.

The next time someone tells you that they love you unconditionally; you don’t have to challenge them. You just need to know that they are not your parents and they have a line that you should not cross. This line that should not be crossed exist with your parents also, it’s just that they are really too in love with you to not give you a million chances.