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Wednesday, October 27, 2010

What ever happened to good old fashioned MEN?

It used to be that there were very noticeable differences between the sexes. Your sons did things that boys did and your daughters did things that girls did. Remember your aunts and uncles saying, “Boys stay with boys, Girls stay with girls.” Okay, maybe that was just in my family, but anyway. The times have moved us toward the dissipation of the lines that once helped us to place individuals in proper sexual perspective. To me, this is not a good thing.

A boy in skinny jeans wearing earrings in both holes and carrying European carry-alls is rather contemporary, yet new to me. Young ladies sagging, wearing fitted caps and playing middle linebacker at the local high school is something, I guess, I will need to get used to. Households are starting to show the signs of the man being away. In the natural order of things a man serves as the protector, guide, and leader of the home or pack. The lack thereof is catapulting our society into something more akin to an unnatural state of being. This may be something that is desired by non-traditionalist or those that would oppose nature in Her wisest of ways.

Imagine an animal kingdom where the male lion decided that he would no longer lead his pack, or the queen bee deciding she would relinquish her duties to move on to something that made her happier. The natural order of the collective would surely be thrown into generations of confusion, if they survived. This is what has happened to our human world, particularly in the USA and especially in the African-American community. The natural state of things is not as it should be.

Young men are told that they can no longer be too active or rambunctious. Rambunctious used to be a natural state of the untrained boy. Now it dictates he needs drugs. Men are told that we can no longer become angry, when controlled anger is what has kept our families safe and secure for generations. The Father’s discipline is disallowed and replaced with government controlled diagnoses that lead pharmaceutical investors to enjoy lofty retirement benefits. We are now told that we are no longer allowed to teach our sons how to deal with bullies and we must now “report” our issues to the bureaucrats that do no more than catalog and document for further pontification. Your home can no longer be protected lest you become the prisoner of the new laws.

Men are reduced to being parts of the whole instead of leading the whole out of danger and darkness. Was not this great national identity of ours to stand up to bullies, even for others that are less powerful than us? Were we once, as men, made of tougher things than we currently consist of? Were we once that ones that were looked up to by our sons and daughters as examples of what they should be and seek in their years toward self sufficiency?

What happened to the man that did it by the sweat of his brow and took no handout that was not paid back with interest? Where did the men that protected their OWN neighborhood go to? Why is it that the gangsters and pedophiles no longer fear the man of the house? Is he really gone never to return? Not many men even tend to their own yards anymore, or change their own oil and spark plugs.

I am thankful that my father produced a son that never looked past him to give me guidance to stop others from bullying me. I am glad that he taught me that I was responsible for protecting the Gamble kids that live in Katy, Texas. I am glad that he made me push the lawn mower and hold the light on cold nights when the starter needed to be changed. I am thankful that he told me that I have no right to complain if I refuse to be part of the process. Thank you God that my father was the first to teach me to shoot a gun, to stand and be counted, to open my mouth and get fed, to lead from the front, to be the man of my household, to analyze with great scrutiny the solutions of others and to stand straight up with ten toes pointed forward and proclaim I am a MAN. It is exactly what I will teach my son.

Friday, October 22, 2010

I love you sister but you need to stop using me as an excuse for your failures!

Behind almost every good man is a good woman driving his success or behind most bad men are women supporting their failures. Often that woman may be a mother, aunt, wife, or girlfriend. This is easily recognizable by his words and actions. No man can forgo his good blessings and deny that this is so. We understand that the rock that we anchor ourselves to has our faith or lack there of and a strong angel or powerful demon attached. Usually that angel/demon is a female. We love you ladies with all of our heart and all of our souls as well as with our resources, but you have to stop blaming us for all of your shortcomings!

I hear and read about women that are stuck in neutral because of some bad experience or relationship with a person of the opposite gender. I am often left asking why this is. It is as if some women are hard-wired to seek out the worst among us so that they may have wonderful excuses for their ineptitude. He broke my heart so I have to remain bitter for the rest of my existence, He will not take care of his child so I cannot move forward. He is in jail so I have to retard my progress in life to support his incarceration; all of the good men are married or gay. So many excuses and so little guidance from the older generation are frankly hurting the next batch of men that are brought up by single mothers.

First of all, you chose him usually knowing his shortcomings and with open eyes looking at his horrible future. Did you not think that he would try to make you a part of his plan? Again, behind almost every good man is a good woman driving his success or behind most bad men are women supporting their failures. Did you really do your part to drive his successes? This was the man you chose right? I would wager your choice was not to help him fail in life, right?

You cannot expect that every man that you meet will be a Prince. There are many frogs that need to be kissed. The issue is that many of the frogs are getting more than kisses. I think it is high time that the focus be put on the learned lesson achieved from negative experiences and relationships. ALL LESSONS COST YOU SOMETHING! It is important that you do not let the lesson cost you your dignity; it is often the last thing you have left to sell and ironically the most costly. Funnier still is that the dignity that is so costly usually is given at a cheap price and the stock on it never again rises.

I would love to see more women passing on the knowledge learned to the next generation of ladies. I would hate for my daughters prospects in life to be limited by her mother’s excuses and complaints about a man. I would hope that she would be taught that she succeeded and survived despite the fall. Her story would say that there are good men out there; they just want a good woman. Despite your experiences, are you a woman that a man with choices would choose to date? Have you overcome instead of being overcome? Have you exposed your sores to the world or did you clean, bandage, and work diligently to heal them.

I don’t want to date a woman with stab wounds still open from her last fight, oops I mean relationship, sorry. I really don’t want to hear her excuses and stories about her “baby-daddy’s sorry ass”. I want to know that she was resilient enough to not let any of that stop her and that she can get past the pitfalls of life. That is a woman that I would want to find, date, and spend the rest of my life with. Often in the animal kingdom only the strongest and most resilient get to pass on their seed. If only human beings were the same way!

Move on past the bad and talk no more about it unless you are educating another about getting past it and prospering in life. Too many times have I watched the life being sucked out of young women because no older woman would let her know that the stop sign in her life meant to look both ways before crossing and not to cut the car off and park. We need more sisters to get this across to them, REAL TALK.