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Friday, August 27, 2010

Last line of defense of a fool: name-calling

There are many among us who formulate “great” opinions without the benefit of knowledge. You will notice these people in an instance by their willingness to quickly label others. Many people raise their voices instead of solidifying their opinion with fact. This, to them, is a quick way to deflect from the stated subject and to also add to the chaotic nature of the fans of the brainlessness. In other words, calling someone a name when you are losing an argument entertains only the fools among you and helps you to save face…among fools that is.

Too often in American discourse the loser resorts to calling the opponent a name. This does not serve to further along the valued conversations that tend to mend communities and educate those in need the most. It is almost always those that are in need of the education that such discourse brings that are entertained by the name-calling. Over the next couple of days, take moments to see if you notice this. Listen to the names that help to demonize the opponent instead of resolving conflict. Faggot, nigger, cracker, rag-head, wetback, chink, are just a few that the least educated among us will quickly use when backed into an ideological corner when in mental battle with a more skillful adversary.

The very last refuge of an idiot is to call another a derogatory name. When armed with facts and knowledge, there is no reason to resort to such tactics. How many times have you watched people engaged in verbal battle and one suddenly spouts out, “You’re an idiot!”? Think back and try to remember who was intellectually winning the battle before it was dumbed-down. Was that person really an idiot or was the other person out of intellectual fuel? I have watched as the most intelligent among us is labeled some moniker meant to make them seem more monstrous than militant. MLK was called a trouble-maker. This entertained the most ignorant of his enemies. George Bush was called an idiot, this seemed to energize the least educated among his political opposition. It was common among blacks to call the Honorable Clarence Thomas an Oreo. This is the battle call of his distracters. Black men of title were still called “boy” by their Southern white less educated neighbors. This somehow gave these mental midgets strength.

I am not against giving these titles to people if they belong to them. The problem is this: When you choose to give someone a derogatory title, make sure you can defend it with real facts that are able to lead ANYONE to the same conclusion. If you cannot, then you are the real idiot. Entertainment for idiots usually has to be overt, undisguised and over the top. This is what name-calling is. It lacks the art of subtlety. Yes to be subtle is an art form that dies in the presence of fools.

Don’t let your children resort to name calling when they should be able to defend their positions with fact. My children are not allowed to state opinions without telling me why they have that opinion. They are not allowed to cower in the corner behind the ragged defense of name-calling. They are made to understand that you look the smaller person when you resort to this and you are usually telling the thinking persons in the crowd a multitude of things about yourself. Name-calling: The last refuge of idiots.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Don’t confuse “Settling” with abandoning the search for the perfect man that does not exist…YET!

Let me start this one by saying; If this is not you don’t be offended! Secondly, I would like you to send this to that friend of yours that this speaks “directly” to (wink, wink).

There are countless eligible and able women that continue to be single. Many are single because they choose to be. This piece does not speak to them. This piece speaks to the women that have it going on, have their own, can manage their own affairs, and just have a hard time meeting someone. This also specifically speaks to heterosexual women of this sort. This is because I really don’t know much about the dynamics of any other kinds of relationships.

Many women that I speak to are specific in what they are looking for as it pertains to a man. They want someone who is without complications, a man who has a career instead of a job. They want a man that will be honest and loyal and treat them as they FEEL they deserve to be treated. They tend to want the perfect man. HE DOES NOT EXIST.

Don’t pattern your expectations on a television actor or your father. Don’t think that the guy like your friends husband is out there for you. You have to realize this about those guys: they were assholes and jerks too. Your father wasn’t always your father. Your mother had to deal with a lot for him to become the man that you see today, much of it none of your business. Not very many good men become good men without meeting the other patient half that God intended them to have to make them what they are to be. If the women that have good men are honest with you they would tell you what they had to go through to get that man to be what you currently see.

I spend much time in conversation with older people and they are more than willing to impart this knowledge when the timing calls for it. You tend to see a woman with a huge diamond and you want one. What have you really done to get it? Have you thought about what she had to endure to get that big diamond? That large rock comes with stories and wisdom. Have you seriously thought about what Sis. Johnson had to help her man become to be able to drive that expensive Cadillac to service on Sunday. Bro. Johnson was not always what you see.

Often, if not always, A man is in need of his better half to become a good man. You have to recognize the brothers that have the potential but lack a better half. I would not have married me when my wife met me. I was, and some still say, a hot mess. I must say that I am not all that I want to be but I am, thanks in great part to her and her patience, much better a man, husband, and father than I could have become without her. How can something be perfect when it is not complete? It is the other half that makes it complete. Women want the love that their parents have but they don’t want to DO what their parents did or go through what their parents went through to get it. Ask you Mom seriously how long she had to deal with underwear on the ground before Dad finally got it and started picking them up himself. Ask her how long she had to wait until he started to help with the dishes. Ask her how long she had to endure his nights out with the fellas before she helped him to settle down into the man you now see. He was not born like that. You are by far a better person for having gone through tough things and adversity than you would be without any of it.

Sis. Johnson now deserves that good man. She had a great hand in helping him to become such. How dare you ask that your man come without the imperfections that we are born with? No man is going to be what you classify as a good man unless his mother, his sister(s), you, or some other woman helped him become it! I was a better man for my wife because of the crap I put another woman through, and I am not ashamed to admit it. The mistake of the other woman was she went through crap with me and left. It made me a better man for the next woman. That next woman became Mrs. Gamble. My wife is not the type to make the same mistake. She often tells me that she is not dealing with my mess to hand me off to another woman. SHE IS WORKING ON ME FOR HER! I am doing the same with her for my benefit.

Stop trying to find the perfect man and look for the man that needs you! Chances are you need him too. He will come with some stains, but nothing you can’t wipe squeaky clean. If you think I speak what is not the truth, go and ask a woman that has been married for some time. She will tell you that the man she married is far worse than the man that she has. Most likely others want a man like him too. Why do you think women like married men!

Focus on the man that you can grow with and not the finished product you want. After all, someone else got him there, not you! What the hell makes you think that you are so perfect? He has to deal with your issues as well.

Now, send this to your "girlfriend" that desperately needs to read it!(wink, wink)

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

When your child is in trouble...PARENT!

Parenting is as complex an action as there is in a human beings existence. Wise parents understand that the earthly thing you love the most, your most precious asset, will someday cause you the most misery. This is not because every child is destined to be other than a great and valued asset to humanity. It is because of our expectations. Some live vicariously through the lives of their children forever advising the child against becoming what they want to be and with caution extolling the values of what we have learned from our own experiences. Be very careful to live your life and not your child’s. No two children are alike. No two children require the same from a parent, even if you had them both. You cannot love all of your children the same. You must love them as differently as they are. Since this is true, there is no CORRECT formula for raising all of them to be productive people that accomplish great things. All are not burdened with great accomplishments. Some people need to just do the work. There is great value in those that just want to collect a paycheck. If everyone had the dog-eat-dog drive, all dogs won’t go to Heaven. To be a parent is to adopt the life of a chameleon. You must blend into your surroundings while also accepting the fact that you are still the same on the inside.

No exact science to this, although there are some principles that are to be respected in followed in any attempt to raise seeds to adulthood. You have to water and feed them first. Teach them how to act, how to treat others, how to treat and care for themselves, and how to respect what is to be respected, especially culturally and spiritually. These principles are true of every culture.
Some people tend to give up on their children when one or more of these principles are not followed by the child. Let me make sure I state this so that all can understand: ANYONE CAN PARENT A GOOD CHILD. CHILDREN THAT ARE OTHER THAN THIS ARE GIVEN TO SPECIAL PEOPLE! It is these special people that usually stand between us and a society that deteriorates in a matter of days or maybe hours. Every child will do something(s) wrong. It is at this point that you are called to your eventual destiny as a parent instead of a donor or vessel. When that child is in jail it is not the time to give up. When that child is in harm’s way or in the lifestyle that is opposed to a prosperous life, the world would thank you to begin your parenting at that moment! Never mind what others say. Your child deserves a parent, no matter what they have done. Until one of us is no longer breathing, I will be Sanaa Jolie and Trennan Ziare’s Dad. Nothing that they can do can take that away, NOTHING. Everyone who is a parent faces some shame or doubt, or regret for an action of their child. Just make sure you know that this does not mean you are allowed to have less love, No, I think that you are forced to have more love. You should understand that the situation is not only about you and the child but about those that watch and talk as well.

In mysterious ways, your dilemma is also an awakening, an opportunity to learn, a showcase of your love, a learning experience, a test, a real matter of life that is meant to benefit someone else as well as you and yours. Please be aware that you may be being used to help another realize the potential in their situation. As a parent, please do not judge yourself by the missteps of your children. They are great opportunities to be the parent that you are meant to be. Do not give up. If you do you may be giving up on more than just your child.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

The world will end next week, I think

On things of significance, the world seems to more readily turn a blind eye. There are few left with enough spirit, knowledge, and foresight to be able to continue to matriculate their lives among the masses of psychopaths that call themselves sensible. What used to make sense to our parents begins to quickly erode what little privacy and rights of expression that we seem to think we have found ways to maintain. It just seems simply that things are spiraling out of our collective control. The Last Days are here at last and that brings some joy to parties of people that live to die and reach their piety in the sky (pun intended). These times are like no other and the end of the world as we are accustomed is surely near. We need to be absolved of all things unclean and re-commit our lives to the Most High (depending on which name for the builder of the world you choose to use).

This summation is the official stance of every human generation that ever lived. We are all about to die. We are all about to meet our maker. Since man has existed he has predicted the world will end next week. It is just that EVERY STINKIN one of them have been wrong, at least so far! Man's attempt to predict the demise of time has been documented at least since 44 AD when Theudas claimed to be the Savior and led 400 people into the desert with him to meet their demise at the hands of Roman soldiers. Many believed the end was near December 31, 1999 as a result of technophobia. Dr. Jerry Falwell believes the Antichrist is an already born male Jew. Many New Age writers follow the Mayan and Aztec calendars to predict the precise day of the planets demise. According to their educated guesses, it will be between December 12-22, 2012. Most of this is supposed to be ancient knowledge decoded in now or earlier not so ancient times. How does the math stay the same after the world's acceptance of the Gregorian calendar in 1582? Shouldn't the dates change after 1582 since we went to a 365 day year as opposed to the previous Julian calendar. I need some mathematician to figure the numbers out for me.

My special point is that every generation seems to think that as life gets easier, things get much worse and that we are doomed to move technologically toward our oft-guessed demise. No man knows the day nor the hour for one. I am a believer in God and in the Bible that I read Mathew 24:35-36 states "Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words shall not pass away. But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father alone." How can Christians fall into believing that they can really tell when the end of times will occur? NOT EVEN JESUS KNOWS!!

I am sure that if I am blessed to be an elderly man I will really believe that my grandchildren's generations are bringing about the end of the world and that they just don't know what good music is. They need to listen to more Luke, NWA, Too Short, Geto Boys, etc. Ahhh, those were the good ole days, when music meant something to the soul. I really hate to imagine what they will be listening to. I really hope that I can maintain enough sanity to realize that everything has a season and mine would have probably passed by then. I will not tell them the world is about to end. I will tell them that no matter what people say they need to be prepared for it…WHATEVER that is to them. Stop listening to these mental midgets homilize about the end of the world. They know not when it will end

Every generation is at the cusp of dominating the world with wickedness. Every since Elvis shook his hips on national television the older generation has been on a tear to stop progress and invention. The world is not meant to stand still. There are still unimagined possibilities to be explored. There will always be old people to piss off. IF you are blessed, you will one day be one of them. We are meant to establish new things and to challenge the status quo. Remember this, Jesus challenged the status quo and the older generation and the sanhedrin(city council) were instumental in having had him crucified. You cannot really believe that your challenge and ultimate conclusion are greater than this! What would have happened if Jesus decided not to keep stepping on toes?

Men, break every mirror in the house and tell her she is ugly often!

I was thinking about the true beauty in an ugly woman. I am not speaking of her physical beauty alone but of the whole beauty that makes her a woman. This beauty escapes many women and even more abhor it and seek to derange or modify it. It is one of the greatest mysteries of the world; why a beautiful woman cannot see it herself. It is as if her youth were spent in a house without mirrors and someone told her many times daily that she had no beauty to offer the world.

As a man, I am thankful that more women will not recognize the power they hold. As they go, so goes the world. Thank God that they don’t recognize this! Whew! Most acts by men, be they kind or treacherous, is at the very least an attempt to impress or have a woman. War and peace are often in her delicate hand. People at funerals often tell the audience that we must all travel the way of death but speakers never reveal that we were all born of the womb or egg of a woman. It is the one thing in the world that most living entities have in common other than life itself.

To break the beauty that she was born with is becoming an increasingly easier task. Break every mirror in the house and telling her she is ugly twice a day would push her psychologically to the point that she is afraid and subservient to her abuser. Ladies, if this hasn’t happened to you it seems ludicrous and crazy, but it happens to many women that are a diminished version of what they are meant to be. Have other women berate her and allow her to only see the underbelly of this life. This will serve to create a great sense of the need for a protector and master. This will also help her to lose the self worth that she was born with. She will never know that nations were built and destroyed by the switch of her hips. She will never know that civilizations prospered and failed in her chamber. She will never know that men are powerless and deranged without her touch. This is why prisons have razor wire fences and guards with the ability to use lethal force.

As men we are thankful, in a devious way, to other women that help us to incarcerate the power that women collectively hold. If it were not for women themselves, women would run the world! We receive the benefit of women feeling they cannot meet the stringent status that other women establish. Women often wrest away pride that other women have in themselves. Divide and conquer has been the tactic since some great man among us found out that the power of women collectively was too great a challenge for male dominance to overcome. She needs implants, hair, nails, face paint, lipo, tucks, lifts, and other assorted adjustments, corrections, compressions, contractions, conversions, distortions, revisions, and variances to attract us…or is it to impress other women in this pseudo- masochist drive to be like other women you happen to really dislike? Remember a clown also wears make-up and wigs.

I for one hope that women never realize the power of the universe is in their hands. I really think that we, men, are doing a great job at running the world. We have enslaved, ravaged, murdered, plundered, starved, and experimented for our pleasure, knowledge, and profit. It is as the world should be. Women of the world, you are our helper so you have been just as culpable. We have psychologically raped and physically beat women into submission and cooperation. It is as lovely as can be.

The women’s liberation movement has even worked against you. It was built as a movement to give women equality and choices. Now it will not even let you choose to be mothers and housewives. Ironic isn’t it ?You are looked down on by other women for raising your children and nurturing your husband and home. Someone is still breaking the mirrors and not allowing women to see the beauty in the ugly women. Now it is women themselves. It did take a little training from us though(chest stuck out). We used to tell them many times daily they were ugly. Now they have been trained to tell each other how ugly their beauty is many times hourly! Even worse they train their daughters, the next generation, to do it at a more effective and efficient rate.

Women are not in the business of lifting each other up. They are very effective at tearing each other down, many times over a man that is not worthy of either of the two, three, four, or five of them(Sorry, too much Maury Povich watching). Foresight is something of a foreign word to many women. It is easier to let him have his way with me than it is to investigate him and find him worthy of giving him my most precious asset. Women will give you themselves before they will give you proper questions that may lead to the avoidance of a lifetime of turmoil and drama. Funny, they then act like their situation is new and that NO OTHER women they know has made this mistake so that they would not have to.

If I were a woman, knowing what I know, I would build my house of mirrors. I would take every opportunity to tell other women how great we are and how beautiful we are. I would work to build a network of women that walked along with the leaders of this world…I better stop there, I’m forgetting that I am a man. Too much information.