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Friday, January 29, 2010

Why is Mrs. Tiger Woods not in jail?

Imagine if you will a wife. She is quite a success and well known. Her biggest weakness is other men. Her husband finds out and is outraged. Why, because he found out that she has been sleeping around. Not a little, but to the toon of, get this, 14 men. These men are all over the country. They have been with his wife in New York, in Las Vegas, in Los Angeles and other places. She has also been communicating with these men in their shared abode.

What does the husband do? Well initially, in a fit of rage, he violently attacks her. He attacks her to the point that she has to hurriedly get away in the first vehicle she can get to. In her haste to save herself, she crashes the vehicle. After the crash, she notices that the husband is continuing his assault on her person, recklessly breaking windows in the vehicle to get to her.

Later when the dust settles, the world acknowledges that she is a whore. She knows that she deserves that, but they also forget about the violence done to her. She deserved it, at least in the eyes of the public. She should not have been sleeping around. How dare she embarrass her husband in that manner? This is sure to cost her millions in endorsements and even more in the opinion of the public.
The husband, well he is just devastated. This devastation means that no charges will be filed. No one will even mention, in tones of any error he committed, the incidents of the night before. His reckless behavior and his physically attacking his wife is OK…….after all she deserved it!

To make matter worse, she refuses to acknowledge that the beating happened. She even covers up for her husband claiming the injuries sustained were are result of the auto accident. It could happen in our upside down world……right? No not in this world, especially in this country......not where WOMEN are to be protected.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

I'm getting my revenge....I think?

Best of all forms of getting back at an adversary is living a successful good life. Almost everyone has a person with which they owe a little “get back at you” to. Often it is the father or mother of your kids (trying not to use baby-mama and baby-daddy too much in 2010), or it is the people that talked the worse about you while you were growing up. First, I have to say this. If you haven’t moved on from such situations you probably need to look at the person in the mirror and find out where the deficiency lies. Your life should have been filled with enough joys to cancel out this spirit.

Many times the accused will not remember the silly things that you think they did to you. It is insignificant to them, as it should be to you…if you are an adult that is. When trying to position yourself to “show them”, remember how bad it made you feel and attempt to rise above such small-minded antics. If your focus is on you and yours, and not theirs, life will take care of your situation. My parent’s used to tell me that living a good life is the best revenge. I translate that to mean that a good life is the ultimate way to combat the negatives that fight against you.

If people that intended to hurt you are still in the childish business of bringing you pain, they will be aghast at your success and your good life. There it is if you just have to have it, your sweet revenge. Your positive, good life brings it back full circle. Don’t throw it in their face. This is ungodly and just childish not to mention it makes you look quite pea-brained. It also shows the person the power that they still hold over you, the weak-brained individual. Move on and let your life speak for you. Nobody that matters really cares that you make six figures, drive an expensive foreign car, or have a wonderful job. If all of this is true about you, they will know without you saying a word. If they are the ones that matter to you, they will be proud of you. In some manner you will know this. Be humble and thankful that your life is in some way helpful to someone else and let the past go! A good life is the best way to get back at the ones that will hate you. Just know that you seem as small as they do by acknowledging the fact that the past still haunts you. Be driven by being a good and successful person not by the bitterness of showing off.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Everyone should be cheated on, at least once!

Everyone should experience certain physical, emotional, and spiritual adversity before calling themselves a grown-up. Presumably, this is 18 or 21 for most of us. Although we try to avoid these issues in our lives, in some respect, making it through many of these issues contributes to making you a whole person. I want you to understand that this does not mean that you are not a whole person if none of these issues befall you, but we all know that much greatness is born out of stress.

Do you really believe that Tupac could have been Tupac if not for his life’s turmoil? Out of the great suffering he endured as a child, the Zulu warrior king Shaka emerged. Because of the rigors of her upbringing, Oprah Winfrey is one of the richest and most powerful people in the world. We cannot discount the significance of struggle to bring about a better you. In the hood such incidents are referred to as “stripes”. Getting stripes is the struggle as well as putting in the work of recovery from this struggle. Many times this takes on a negative. May God bless those in that lifestyle…there is a way out but we will confront that later.

You cannot truly learn to ride a bike until you have experienced falling off of it. This allows you to realize that a fall from heights is not the end and recovery is possible. When I first took my daughter ice skating I pushed her down at the beginning. This was to allow her to see that the fall was not as bad as she anticipated. She no longer feared the fall and now gracefully slides. She still falls sometimes, but she no longer needs daddy to pick her up. I’m not really feeling that part but it had to happen.

Not until I realized my heart being broken could I dare be a man that was worthy of marriage. This may sound stupid, but I didn't realize it hurt so much. I ignorantly though, “Oh women recover, she’ll be alright.” This realization made me a better man for my following relationships and also a man someone wanted to marry. Everyone should have their heart broken before they are grown; it takes so much of your focus off the other person and usually makes you deal with you. Everyone should have a pet die, it teaches acceptance of the circle of life. Everyone should fall off of a bike, it teaches you to get back up. Everyone should not reach a tremendously worked for goal, failure makes you dust yourself off and try again, harder. Everyone should be hated on, not until this happens do you realize they have no power over you. Everyone should lose a fight; this makes you a better fighter and teaches you humility. Everyone should be cheated on, at least once, then you know how it feels and hopefully you realize it is just a storm. It also allows you to honestly reevaluate yourself……we aint perfect ya’ll.

Realizing these things while you have youth saves you from wanting to jump from a building as an adult. Don’t help your children avoid these things, help them manage these issues. Not much is hated more than an adult who is not prepared for adversity. This person is the last person most of us want to answer a call from. They are the needy ones. If your friends don’t want to tell you this….there it is NOW YOU KNOW. Adversity happens so that one day you too have the armor to deal with life’s bullets. I promise you this, they will never stop coming toward you as long as you are breathing. Getting through these things assures you that IT IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD… will recover! Keep your faith in one hand and your experience in the other.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Everybody hates Chris, but everybody doesn’t hate black people

A significant percentage of people I meet have a skewed version of racial relations. This significant percentage is among all races of my associates. None more than any other, but I guess this is just a secondary result of the project that is the Great American Melting Pot. There are significant numbers of racists, haters, sell-outs, and outright ignorant shells of people walking among us.

How we deal with them is up to us. In some respect these citizens deserve swift violent action (lest violence be committed against your person), and in other instances more peaceful means of retaliation or protest are warranted. The degree of response is usually a well chosen conclusion thought out by the casualty, or at least this is what we hope for… know, in the spirit of fairness, justice, and equality.

If your home is made of glass, you might want to chill on living too close to rocks. Many people go out into the world, excuse in hand, waiting to be a victim of some sort. Often they pounce upon the opportunity to say that someone wronged them because they are prejudice. Are they really? Do you have you affairs in such great order that they can only pick on you because you are not like them? Really? Is this the first time you have made such accusations? Probably not.

It is perhaps time you take at look into your own soul and try to figure out what kind of citizen you are. Maybe you are not liked because you are a slacker, or a gossip, or a bum, or just plain SORRY! The time has come to weed these kinds of people out of our system of living. We maybe need to have them improve themselves instead of thinking that everyone is out to get them because they are black.

There are some people that will not like you because you are not like them, but not everyone. Hell some of you are even disliked by your own people…what’s your excuse now? Fix you, for real, and then determine if there is really fire where that smoke resides. If this is not the case, then you are just blowing smoke. Time out for those that are walking around with the excuse of prejudice, waiting on an opportunity to use it. In my father’s words, “Prejudice and racism truly exist son, so what!……you do something about it, don’t wait on them to.” People may not like you because you don’t look like them, but they will hate you for complaining about it. Find out how to overcome the obstacle instead of creating a greater one. Combat ignorance with success. Ignorance hates success!

Moral: When everyone is out to get you, usually YOU SUCK!

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Do you remember when a GOOD NAME meant something?

My Paw-Paw used to always say, “Boy, don’t do nothing to bring shame to the Gamble name.” Apparently, this is something he shared often with his son also. My father constantly beat this into my head as a child and even more as a grown man. Don’t do anything to bring shame to the Gamble name.

For my 37 years on the planet, I have done sooooooooo much to honor this request. You would not believe how much. My folks have always taken a tremendous amount of pride in not having the Gamble name associated with particularly dastardly deeds. I have made my mistakes, but I have been pretty good at holding to this core ancestral request.

During the mad hustling days of the late 80’s and early 90’s, when it seems most of my “friends” started to hustle in one manor or another, I always thought about what I had to pass up to keep my name clean. There is some dirt on the Trennan moniker, but the Gamble name has always remained fairly clear. Like most black males growing up in Northeast Houston at this time, the consideration to be an outlaw was there, but what about my name? Couldn’t do it!

I always wondered if my peers got the same request form their grandparent or parents. Don’t get me wrong, by no means do I knock a man for doing what he HAD to do. I am from 5th Ward, Tx, so I do know a little bit about what that is like, I promise you I do. I could always appreciate those people, even if others from other places could not. I understood and understand their struggle, for it is mine as well. My thoughts were always with the ones that really didn’t care about dragging their parent’s good surname through the neighborhood gossip circuits or even the local news because they wanted Jordans and Girbauds. You know, the ones that hustled to hustle. You know how some people like the celebrity! An older cousin told me, “If you have to hustle, do it to a point that you never have to again.” He took the money he hustled in the 80’s and bought Laundromats, many Laundromats. Believe me this was the smartest thing he ever did in his life, but I digress……

What happened to people caring about their good name? What happened to people being embarrassed by indiscretions? I always thought that this embarrassment made for a better product of human being, at least in my family I’m sure it did. These days of “anything goes” and “minding your own business” has gotten us into a rut of secretly calling people on the carpet from the comfort of anonymity via blogs and message boards. The days of the neighborhood chastising your child are gone, in some cases for good reason.

I guess I am just a little nostalgic for the days when Councilman McGowen called my grandmother and told her that he saw me watching a fight on the way home from Key Middle School, or the day when Sis. Lemon told me to put my shirt in my pants and then told my Dad that it was out. I kind of long for the time when Sis. Mark was on one end of Engleford Street and Sis. Lindsey was on the other and they would tell my grandparents if they saw me go past the boundaries that all of my grandparents neighbors knew that they set. What happened to the days when the ladies on the street were Sis. Something and the men were Bro. Something? I am glad that Ms. Thomas sent me home when she caught me on Liberty Road. I always wondered how she knew I wasn’t supposed to be there. In a way, I truly believe they were being the village that taught me that my name meant so much….not only to me but to the Gamble children that now call Katy home.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

If you can’t say it to me, don’t say it about me.

My dad used to give me matter-of-fact rules to live by. Not the usual stuff that all kids are used to hearing, but stuff that is relevant in any time. It is astounding how relevant in these times some of these rules are. My Pops was born in 1956, and ALL of the things that he “explained” to me are still relevant today.

Some of these rules include:

1. Never buy a woman all that she wants, she will not be faithful. Give her ALL that she needs and some of what she wants and she will always respect you.
2. A drunken man and a mad man are truth tellers.
3. Treat people like you want them to treat your children
4. The average person is an idiot. You can tell idiots by the way they follow what is popular
5. Marry a woman with depth so that you will entertain each other when the looks are gone.
6. Never say anything about a person that you cannot say to that person
7. Never write, print, or record anything that you cannot read back in court.
8. Your children will be your legacy. People will ALWAYS judge your life by what they do. Not one of them, but collectively.
9. Make sure people don’t come to your funeral just to make sure that they actually put you in the ground
10. Make sure you buy the most house you can get and drive the car that you can afford

Of these rules, the one that I always found the most intriguing was, “Never say anything about a person that you cannot say to that person.

This rule has kept my name away from many uncomfortable moments. I have not been perfect in obeying the rule, and believe me I have paid, but it has always been with me. I try to avoid situations in which people try to force me into conversations that speak badly about other…not always successful, but always trying. True courage is stating how you feel regardless of the audience and the outcome.

It has become epidemic, the times I hear people say things about others that, I know, they are not willing to say to that person. My youth was spent watching many fights on the way home from Fleming Middle and Key Middle Schools watching people either fight over something someone said about them or something someone denied saying about them. I always found this disturbing and often thought about what my father said. How many times could “mess”, as we call it in the black community, be avoided if people simply thought about RULE NO.6

Teach your kids about this simple rule so that they may teach their kids. I made it a punishable rule in my house. I ask my daughter often about words that come out of her mouth. Can you say that to that person? More than often, her response is, “You know what Daddy, I wouldn’t say that to her.”This leads me to often feel ……………………. She is already on her way.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

If you are the broken brick….get FIXED, or get out of the way of progress.

It has long been my belief that a brick home can only be built one brick at a time. Each brick must do its part in support of the other bricks or the home falls down on its worthy foundation. If one brick, just one brick starts to neglect its duty the other bricks fall awful victim to the degradation of the one brick.

Is it the fault of the other bricks that the one brick failed in its duty? Should they start to stray from their path because this brick is negligent, in effect weakening their own position? Is it a true enough fact that the other bricks were ALREADY in support of this brick by simply doing their job?

Although the other bricks are doing all they can to hold the structure from collapsing onto its foundation, sadly, they are doomed to failure if this brick does not step up to the challenge and find success. The unfunny part is this; had the one brick been able to do its job, ALL of the bricks would have worked in perfect support of one another.

This is my view of the state of Africa America. Why is it that one brick fails to overstand that it is a very important part of the foundation not having to support a collapsed structure? I wish we could get everyone to understand and play their part in this so called life. Like the brick, no one is going to support you but your own, given you are doing your part. WE ARE ALL CONNECTED and are as weak as our weakest part. Somehow we have to get parents to start parenting. We have to get teachers to start teaching, we have to get children, and this is the important part, to be children again. They are empty vessels that are not to be filled with poison.

If all of your children are not good people, please, please, PLEASE take a good look at what it is that you are doing. If your son is walking round looking like a fool with his pants on the ground…..well, I should not have to tell you what is appropriate. If your daughter is confused about what it is that she really is to give the world, educate yourself so that you may make her what she is really to be.

To all of you good bricks don’t stray too much from your path to honor the bricks that don’t want to support the structure. Progress is similar to the falling airplane drill. You have to put your mask on before you are able to help someone put their mask on. You must focus on your life to be a blessing in someone else’s life. To give ultimate support to the faltering brick, make sure all of the bricks surrounding it are strong enough to hold the structure together while the faltering brick is repaired. If the faltering brick refuses repair, replace it. After all, no one guaranteed all bricks would get to the Promised Land.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Dating is a marriage negotiation!

Many marriages end before they begin because of the lack of communication. Sure there are the typical assertions of undying love and devotion and the acclaims of always being there when needed. Some believe, erroneously, that this is enough to sustain a HAPPY union……NOT!

I dated for 4 years before going to her father and telling him of my intentions to ask that she wed me. FOUR YEARS you say? This seems like a long time, I’m told. Maybe I am a bit old-fashioned, or, it took us that long to come to compromises that equate to a life together forever. If you think the latter, you would be 100% right.

When we first became a couple we immediately started the process of finding out if we were compatible enough to be together past the week. We began to talk about future goals, where we wanted to live when we grew up (we were early 20’s), our religious affiliations (she was catholic and I was confused), our family histories (because you do really marry the family), our plans for careers, our expectations of each other physically (won’t go there too much, Mom reads the blog sometimes). Our financial plans, even our plans for world travel and vacations. Believe me, this is just a few of the things that took us 4 years to negotiate through. She wanted 8 kids, I wanted 3. She wanted to stay close to Mom; I wanted to get far away. She wanted to do non-profit work; I wanted her to go corporate. She liked Chevy, I liked anything Japanese. She had much credit card debt; I was not going to marry her with it. I had always approached dating in this fashion and had eliminated previous “friends” when I realized that our lives would at some point be headed in opposite directions. In some cases my life forward and her life would be standing still. With my current wife, we had things to work out but we were going the same place.

It took us 4 years to negotiate these things out to a point where we would not have to deal with these hassles after considering marriage or DURING the marriage. Like any good deal, concessions were made and there was some hard selling going on, but we made it to a point where we knew enough about each other’s expectations, dreams, plans, goals, and pursuits that we thought we could make the deal happen.

There have been some addendums to the contract since the marriage, but they are hassled out with the respect that came from the four years of optimistic conciliation. The point being, we learned that we needed to go into a marriage with no surprises and no false expectations. It was almost a self examination and four year counseling session to assure that we could work things out between JUST the two of us and God. I am not saying this is going to work for you, but, the alternative seems to not be doing so well in this fair country of ours. People are “getting together” too soon without the benefit of actually knowing the other person and their family. More people are dating with no expectation of marriage. If this is for you, it is for you….no judgment on my part. Even if marriage is not for you consider the following in any long term relationship. Take some time, kick the tires. Go home and pray about it. Plan out the unplanned and think about the unexpected. Negotiate a wonderful life so that there is no “buyer’s remorse”. ALL relationships are easy to go into blindly and hard to exit without seeing it all. You should do that with any significant other. I should hope that you would invest at least that much…… do so before buying a car after all.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Are you a GOOD enough woman to find a GOOD man?

I am constantly earhustling conversations among women that I know. I listen to my wife and her single friends, my sisters, my cousins, and co-workers whenever I can. Maybe I am nosey, or as I like to think of it inquisitive with the purpose of assisting to help with a solution. There IS a shortage of GOOD men, especially in the African-American community. This is sad but true.

Although this is the case, notice, I said shortage, not drought. Often women think that all they have to do is be a woman and to pray and God will send that GOOD man their way. NO! Your prayer must be synonymous with your action because faith without action is dead. There are things that you can do to be a part of God’s plan to bring a good man into your life, IF, this is what you want. Please don’t remind me or get mad at me, I KNOW SOME OF YOU, “DON’T NEED NO DAMN MAN!” OK, this is not meant to you or for you. Lay down to sleep with all of your accomplishments and your belongings, I’m sure they bring you joy. Now that we have that out of the way, here is a concise list of things that may offer help:

1. Listen to what God is telling you
3. Stop looking in places where the bad men are
4. Become interesting
5. Stop concerning yourself with what other people say about you, it is none of your business
6. The packaging does not make the gift
7. Stop trying to make a good man THE perfect man…..that guy is gay
8. Stop looking FOR the man that has it and look AT the man that has the capacity to get it with the help of a good mate

We will deal with these issues one by one in a short amount of time (I know people don’t want to read a book). First, listen intently to what God is telling you. There is no God of fear and God does not promise you will not withstand some pain. I have no idea what it is that God is telling you, but I encourage you to listen and discern this from what the devil says.

Next, No GOOD man wants to be with a BAD woman. Only a bad man wants to be with a bad woman. Pause and let that soak in! (Jeopardy game show music music)……Again, No GOOD man wants to be with a BAD woman. Only a bad man wants to be with a bad woman. I have no idea what your standard of good is; I will leave that to you. I will say that you will find a man that is to your standard if you stay there. Most good men are always forwardly moving to something….God, better life, better knowledge, increase in whatever it may be. This man does not want a woman that is not traveling to something better also. Are you a good enough woman to attract a man that can take you along for this ride?

Stop looking for YOUR prince in the pauper’s palace, He won’t be there. This is not to say there are no good men in the places you frequent, but you know from your experiences that they are not looking for Mrs. Right in some of the less desirable places where people of little depth are OFTEN spotted. Go to the museum, take a class, visit the library, take advantage of dancing lessons, go to church functions instead of just going to church, join professional organizations, become a community activist, volunteer, step out of your comfort zone and LEARN something new. I promise you that good men are thinking along these same lines.

Become a more interesting person. Interesting people have interest. Interesting people act on those interest (See the last paragraph). Have something that intrigues a man that you can talk about other than constantly communicating physically. Invite him to your interest. Most women that say that can’t find a man have no interest. If you think I am not truthful, ask 4 of your friends that have a hard time finding a man this question, “What are your interests?” Most will look at you with a blank stare, try it.

Stop being concerned with what other people say about you. They do not define your happiness. WHAT OTHER PEOPLE SAY ABOUT YOU IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! If you are happy, your situation makes you happy, and God blesses this situation, why do you care about the chatter?

The package that God sometimes sends gifts in is not always pretty. There are some very good brothers out there that don’t get a shot at what he can be because he doesn’t drive the car, or make the money, or dress appropriately. Does he love God? Will he love you? Will he be a good father? Will he be a good provider? If he is not the package, maybe he needs a good woman to be the ying to his yang….are you her?

Stop trying to make the man what you want him to be, he is what he will be. Stop trying to stop him from spending ALL of his time with you, only gay men and men with self-confidence issues do this. Stop trying to dress him according to your fashion sense, only gay men and men with self-confidence issues that lack backbones will allow this. Stop trying to PERFECT him and think about WHY you are trying to perfect him (see paragraph on what people say about you). Leave God’s creature alone if he is a good man. Recognize what you have before someone else does.

The last thing is to stop looking at what he has, it’s not yours. Look at the man that can get it with you, that will be yours forever. Some brothers just need a good woman to be a good man, I am one. I am full of fault and God and I am working on me. I hope Connie continues to have patience knowing that……………One day, I too shall be a GOOD man.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Just because you are a baby-mama, does not necessarily make you a mother Hun.

Let’s get this straight. All men are not horrible, or dogs, or deadbeats, or bums. There are still good men out there. Let’s get this straight also. All “baby-mamas” and ex-wives are not saintly; holding their own in this crazy world, thumping their Bible’s every night either.

Yesterday we talked about “I’m proud because I pay child-support” guy. Please don’t think anything I write is inclusive of EVERYONE, I repeat, please don’t think anything I write is inclusive of EVERYONE. That guy needed his issue and I fully intended to give it to him yesterday. Hopefully, I met with some success. There are some struggles out there with good guys that just want to be good fathers to their children and are up against the dreaded SCORNED WOMAN. I really feel sorry for this man and applaud his unusual patience. I know some of you, Tony and Andrew to name just two.

Just because you are a baby-mama, does not necessarily make you a mother Hun. There are some downright WRONG women out there that, for whatever reason, punish their children in their attempt to get at the father. This is ridiculous and should be punishable by a nice five finger open hand smack in the mugshot….but I don’t advocate violence (lol). There needs to be more justice for fathers that do what is required and/or more and are confronted with a woman that still doesn’t think it is enough. The money is for the child, not for you and your new endeavors (or man).

Although the daddy is the father of the child, in actuality, we went half! Where is her half? Although she is the custodial parent, sometimes undeservedly, she needs to realize that SOME support needs to come from her as well! I am not speaking of you sisters that are out there getting it or the sisters that are TRYING to get out there and get it, Love you all and keep doin what you do with your beautiful selves. But tell ya homegirl, you know, the one that refuses to work, that she needs to step her game up. If she doesn’t have the kids, tell her she needs to pay something, SOMETHING! My boy Andrew has not received a dime in support for his two children EVER. His oldest is on her way to UT-Austin next year and the other child is following in her large footsteps. This brother is to be commended. He has been doing it all alone from the parent perspective. His struggle has been great, I am his witness. Why is this brother having a hard time finding a GOOD woman? Another friend is catching grief from an ex-wife who thinks that he should be responsible for her and her new man, I use the term MAN loosely. Why is the suffering of the good brothers unnoticed? Where is their Maury Povich? Who tells their story to all those women that think that there are no good men out there? God knows I hope all that is due to the good brothers, they get. I also hope that all that is due to those bad “baby-mama’s” THEY ALSO GET!

I am not PROUD of you for paying your child-support

I was talking with a guy in the gym who pays his child support. WOW! Among the usual lunch bums at the Y yesterday, we were having a casual conversation about life and relationships and he stated this 3 times, like he needed us to bestow credit upon him for this extraordinary feat. The moment I hear another sperm-donor, father, dad, pop, or baby-daddy tell me he pays child support, I will grow another arm out of the side of my head! UUGGGHHHH! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT IF THE CHILD IS YOURS! Stop acting like you deserve a badge for it.

Do you walk around telling people you breathe, “Man I breathe and take care of my lungs.” Will I ever hear you say that? Paying support to your child is what breathing is to lungs or the brain or the heart…..they need it to survive. I long for the days where children are supported even if the mother is “trippin”. What does that have to do with the welfare of the child? Fathers, do your part so that you are able to look that grown child in the eye and say, “I did ALL that

I was supposed to do financially, sometimes more and ALL that I could do lovingly.” Stop giving the mothers the power to say you did not. It aint cute Daddy. I see so many “baby-daddy’s” around looking “hood-clean” and even more often just clean, and the baby is at home with a mother struggling and doing God knows what to provide for a responsibility that should be shared.

My hats are off to single mothers. I had no idea what they went through until my first child was born. My wife can remember me crying as she was attempting to go to the bathroom, with my assistance, a day after my daughter was born. I could not fathom her having to do THAT simple task without my help. She seemed to be in so much pain. I appreciated her so much at that moment and thought to myself, “….millions of women in the world and THIS one decided to give her body to have MY baby.” To me it was spiritual and enlightening. At that moment, I could not understand a man not being supportive of his child AND THE MOTHER OF THAT CHILD.

Stop taking pride in doing what you are SUPPOSED to do fathers and start taking pride in going above and beyond. I am not proud of you for paying your child-support, you are supposed to! I am not proud of you for breathing, you are supposed to do that too!.............if you are not dead!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Because he is a Democrat it is OK....Really?

How is it that Harry Reid’s comments have not been called out by our self-anointed, “black leadership”? I have a REAL problem with race politics and the cattle-mentality of the political parties. Let’s start with the plantation thinking perpetuated by the Democrats and their “black” henchmen. I will call no names (they and you know who they are).

Is it OK for Massa(Reid and other Dems) to say things that are not OK if you don’t have a –D after your name. His comments would mean almost political death had he been a member of another political party. What happened to justice being blind? Maybe she bought some glasses. What happened is this: the henchmen who give fish to the masses instead of fishing lessons and rods are circling the wagon around this “good white folk”. I hear very little uproar in our communities, even smaller uproar on black radio, and almost nothing in any negative light among our black websites or newspapers…huh?

I welcome all to imagine, if you will, these comments were made by Dick Cheney, “I like old BHO, he is light skinned and only talks with Negro dialect when he wants to. I think we may be able to get him elected.” I would be justifiably upset, would you? Really? Well why not when the same commentary was made by Harry Reid, Democrat-Nevada? If this is not upsetting to you, I encourage you to look at how you really feel and just who you are taking your marching orders from. THIS SHOULD BE UPSETTING EVEN IF THE AUTHOR WAS BLACK! It doesn’t surprise me as much as it disappoints me to hear Rev. Al Sharpton’s comments. I am no fan of Rev. Sharpton, but I do believe there is a need for people in his capacity to exist, but lets’ call a spade a spade.

Harry Reid should face repercussions from people like Rev. Sharpton and that is not what is happening. Why do I hear nothing from the esteemed Congresswoman Shelia Jackson Lee? Why aren’t the “good white liberals” calling for Reid's head? Racism is racism, especially when it comes from a Democrat. Harry Reid’s comments fall in line with the great racist of American history…….most of them historically Democrat. I am not giving the Republicans a pass; I am just saying hold the Democrats to the same political punishment that would befall anyone else who made such comments, especially the Republican you most love to hate.

Monday, January 11, 2010

A man, a woman, and a year long lie

First let me state to premise of this writing. A MAN CAN MAKE A LIE LIVE FOR AT LEAST A YEAR! There, I said it. It saddens me that women continue to fall in love, or lust, with the dream of what he should be. This is while they are ignoring what he is.

I do understand that love and lust are many times blind, but do not confuse the two with justice (which should be blind). In the first 365 days of your courtship you are in awe of whatever that thing is that has you most smitten by your interest. In this awe our simple common sense seems to escape us. This is especially true of women. Often you are in bliss and oblivious to the blatant statements of “dirty dog”, or “bum”, or “lazy bastard” that he puts out for everyone to see…..that is, except YOU. If he was married, you usually knew this but chose to ignore it because of some other temporary bliss you are feeling. It won’t last.

Stop being blinded by the “makeup” and notice what his face really looks like. Give yourself some time to get over the bliss and come down to the reality of : Does he love God, How does he treat those which he claims to love the most(his children and his mother), Where does he spend his money(this is where his heart really is), Who are his friends and are they good people, What are his future plans for his life? This simple approach would help people avoid many disastrous life choices. The greater fault, to me, lies with the older women that know this and do not share this with the younger ladies AT AN EARLY AGE. So the cycle repeats.

As a man, I can hide almost anything from a woman for a year, A YEAR!! IF she gets too close, most of us have enough game to PUT HER BACK IN THE PLACE WHERE WE WANT HER……don’t go through it in 2010 ladies. Give the courtship time to mature or metastasize…you will not be sorry.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

2010 Let's get it...........BANG!

I have noticed that many people are in a continuing cycle of moving and standing still, living in place if you will. What do I mean by this? I am glad you asked. In my circle of fam, friends, and associates I have witnessed people constantly on the move to go nowhere.

I often ask myself, Self - Why is it that they can't see what I can see about their own decisions? I think I, along with some other sage individuals, were given a gift by God as a youngster (this gift was nurtured by my father).This gift is the ability to see clearly, things that others cannot or refuse to see and/or notice. My wife often chimes in with, "Trennan, everybody doesn't think like you and you need to accept this." I have learned to accept this BUT!, How do you do it your way, ignoring all sage warnings and advice that could have help meet with productive change, fail, and ask those that offered you said advisement for their resources.....OVER and OVER again! God takes care of babies and fools but the Devil dances at balls with those that know better and do worse(my quote, you can use if you give me In 2010 I resolve nothing new! I will continue to call you out for trying to fit a round peg into a square hole. It will not fit if they are the same size (some people won't get that nugget). !

Life is not as hard as many people make it, I promise. Most of our issues are self-inflicted. The problem is that most of us are too selfish or self-centered, or both to admit that we are doing it wrong and change or we are too pre-involved with the unimportant opinions of those that matter the least in our lives. I REALLY hope the God(and it is spelled with a BIG G ya'll) grants all that I know the wisdom to change what is wrong and the physical, emotional, spiritual, or financial aptitude to DO IT in 2010....let's get it 2010....BANG!