Best of all forms of getting back at an adversary is living a successful good life. Almost everyone has a person with which they owe a little “get back at you” to. Often it is the father or mother of your kids (trying not to use baby-mama and baby-daddy too much in 2010), or it is the people that talked the worse about you while you were growing up. First, I have to say this. If you haven’t moved on from such situations you probably need to look at the person in the mirror and find out where the deficiency lies. Your life should have been filled with enough joys to cancel out this spirit.
Many times the accused will not remember the silly things that you think they did to you. It is insignificant to them, as it should be to you…if you are an adult that is. When trying to position yourself to “show them”, remember how bad it made you feel and attempt to rise above such small-minded antics. If your focus is on you and yours, and not theirs, life will take care of your situation. My parent’s used to tell me that living a good life is the best revenge. I translate that to mean that a good life is the ultimate way to combat the negatives that fight against you.
If people that intended to hurt you are still in the childish business of bringing you pain, they will be aghast at your success and your good life. There it is if you just have to have it, your sweet revenge. Your positive, good life brings it back full circle. Don’t throw it in their face. This is ungodly and just childish not to mention it makes you look quite pea-brained. It also shows the person the power that they still hold over you, the weak-brained individual. Move on and let your life speak for you. Nobody that matters really cares that you make six figures, drive an expensive foreign car, or have a wonderful job. If all of this is true about you, they will know without you saying a word. If they are the ones that matter to you, they will be proud of you. In some manner you will know this. Be humble and thankful that your life is in some way helpful to someone else and let the past go! A good life is the best way to get back at the ones that will hate you. Just know that you seem as small as they do by acknowledging the fact that the past still haunts you. Be driven by being a good and successful person not by the bitterness of showing off.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Monday, October 31, 2011
Increasingly I notice that people who fail to identify their issues pass them on to their children and community by not acknowledging an issue exists. It is too painful to point out that you are not living in a manner that is consistent with assuring progression for your people. I know! I have been guilty of this and I am still guilty of this. Three years ago in my life I realized that I was not all that I could be and set out to make a change. I am still in the process of making that change and working diligently to see it through. I had to first recognize that the thing that I was doing or not doing was not a benefit to my community, family, or to myself individually. I began working to be what I want other black men to be and am still trying to get there. I am working to make sure I can lead by my example and not by my words. I am taking away my sons ability to tell me, “Why do I have to do it, you didn’t!” I am noticing the marks on my clothes and trying my best to wash the garments clean.
There are many issues in our community that we do not want to face because it would cause discomfort to those we hold dear. We all know someone or a person who perpetuates the stereotypes that we so dearly want to make go away. We all fail to let them know that these behaviors are not positive behaviors and are a detriment to the strengthening of the black family and community. What was at one time real issue in our community are now just simply choices that people have made and it is none of your business. You may be right that it is not my business….but it is yours. No matter how you look at it …is…yours!........................AND THE COMMUNITIES!
Black men are dropping out of college at an alarming rate, black mothers are raising their children without the fathers at an even more alarming rate, many by “choice”, black parents are not as involved as they should be in the lives and education of their children, black women are chasing the wrong attributes in a man, black fathers are absent, black children are abandoning their opportunities to get an education in the inner cities of this nation, black love is choosing to co-habitate instead of marry, welfare IS the income of many black families, and we refuse to talk about any one of these that individually describes our situation. All of this and we are very willing to address the issues of others, just don’t look at mine. Without identifying your issue as a problem, it continues to exist and pass on to the next generation.
It seems that the days of making a REAL mistake and learning from it are over. No longer are these issues called mistakes to be learned from, now these are matters of choice that the rest of us need to ignore as our community rots from the inside. I vow to start with me by calling Trent out on any of the issues that were previously named and work to make my negative a positive. It is the only way I can be in a position to correct a younger generation. Be careful when telling me about my issues and problems, I just may bring your undivided attention to what you need to change!
We are not meant to exist from the benefits of welfare….that MUST CHANGE
Monday, June 27, 2011
Recently, I have noticed the harsh words we throw toward “our” stars and our youth. More black people hate Labron James, it seems, than the great number of Palestinians that hate Jews. It seems that we truly forget that he is a young black man who is despised by the system that created him because he is what he is. At this point in his life he needs our prayers and our love more than he needs our unrighteous indignation because he made a decision that he thought best for his family. I do understand that people were rubbed wrong by the “Decision”, but if YOU allow the entire world to scrutinize EVERY decision your child makes you will quickly notice how many people truly love or hate your little one! My bet is that they will eat him/her up, what a shame! In that moment, your child would love to have the loving protection of the community(village) to allow him/her to learn and grow from such a mistake. With LaBron, we killed and ate our young, what a greater shame. People seem to be overjoyed that he was not able to win an NBA championship….YET!!
Our young stars that seem to be so out of control makes us long for the days of “Self-Destruction, and “We’re all in the same gang”? Really??? We forget that our generation of violent concertgoers and Bloods, Crips, VC, Folks, and Gangsta Disciples. Our youth didn’t start this, even if they think they did. Times are getting no worse; we are getting better and more sensible as we age, as does every generation. You don't really want to know what Granny was in her 20's, TRUST ME on this one. Since the1920’s each parent has wished their children partied like they did only because they have blocked out the unsavory parts of that time in their life. Since the 1920's gangs and shaking heads of adults who don't undestand what happened to the youth continue to exist.
I don’t remember any of the parties I went to as a youth being without the threat of violence, the disrespect of certain youth, the disregard for elders (remember your Rockford Fosgate speakers that you didn’t turn down in your grandmothers neighborhood). I remember crack dealers on each corner and car-jackers possibly at every drive through. Hell in Houston we closed down all of the drive-inn movies because the generation that was so much better than the kids today could not control themselves and lives were lost! We eat our young because consuming them helps us to somehow forget that they are just like us. We eat our young because we like to pretend the times are worse and they deserve it, We eat our young because we have lost the will to direct them and to pray them out of bad circumstances. We eat our young because it is easier than admitting we created these monsters. We eat our young because we have neither intention nor the will to slay the monsters of our creation. Labron is ours; Lil Wayne is ours, just as Tupac was our parent’s angel and demon, all of our parents!! We have to stop consuming our young and learn to nurture them even from a distance. We have to learn that they are not to be thrown away when incarcerated. We have to realize they are the future that we mold and they will also think that their children are worse than ever. There is nothing new under the Sun. What ever they think they are doing, we already did and so did our parents and so did their parents and so did………..
I don’t suggest you get with it and suddenly perpetuate the wrong of our children. I am saying they are young and they too will one day laugh at their shenanigans. They will turn into you, God willing, and you will have to remind them not to eat your grandchildren, you will have to remind them of their high-top fade, Afro, sagging pants, mysterious jewelry, dashiki's, afropicks with the fist, and strange noises that they called music. You have to remind them that their kids that are just terrible will grow to adults too, someday! When this happens the cycle continues. One day Lil Wayne and Kanye will be on the afterhours Time Life old School CD commercials. You don’t have to love their generation, but you do have to understand that they are not all that they are called to be yet. Be patient with them, God is not finished with them yet. This is the only way you can save them from being eaten and consumed by these "horrible" times!
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Many times this is her way of letting you know either she cares (in a strange Women are from Venus way) or that you really need to address this issue. Often times this happened before the marriage or before the kids so you knew fully what you were getting into so don’t sing me the sob story. Grown men can ignore a lot because of a big butt and a smile (Poison). You knew what you were getting and didn’t consider if you could stand it in the long run. It got a little more worrisome when her mid-section added inches. She started to get on your last nerve when her butt was not as bikini ready as it was when you met her. The big butt and smile blinders were lifted and it got to be unbearable when she stopped doing that “thing” that you enjoyed so much because circumstances changed and responsibilities mounted, and there were considerations other than making you smile 24 hours a day. Get over yourself MAN!
Well, brother, it aint what it seems when she suddenly stops “trippin”. Many of us are so full of our self –anointed righteous hegemony that we simply ignore the forest because there are too many trees. Everyone is not equipped with the ability to rationalize and think through thoroughly, a situation that changes suddenly. Many of us think that we are the cause of the change of action.
Maybe you are, maybe you aren’t!
Put this one in your bag of knowledge to share with the younger brothers (because this information is too late for many of us). Usually, when she stops trippin with you it is not that she all of a sudden became cool, straight, chill, impassive, levelheaded, or she just plain finally got it. Many times she stopped trippin with you because she found someone else to trip with (let that soak in). Yeah, that’s right; her concern is no longer what you are doing because it now is focused on Jody and what he is doing. Brothers, that don’t get it are too busy doing what they are doing to pay attention to a shift in their relationship dynamic. Come on in late, she doesn’t really care. It gives her more time to give to someone else. Stop going places with her, she refuses to keep begging. It is because “he” is probably going to meet her there. All of a sudden she stopped blowing up you phone, I bet you that Jody’s number is peppering that cell phone bill.
The next time you think that she is trippin, you should really be entertained and comforted by the fact that SOMEBODY is trippin with you when you are not right. You knew she would do this. Hell, she started when you met her. It is only when she is no longer “trippin” that things are not what YOU think they are….believe me. Lessons learned from having four sister playa!! Play the game right.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Democrat Representative for not allowing this to happen. Because of your efforts an Ohio mother is sitting in jail. Kelly Williams-Boler sits in a jail cell because of your ignorance and desire to keep many of us shuffling on the plantation that the current house-negroes manage for their masters. I am talking to you Democrat, poverty-pimping, low-expectation having sell out “Leadership”. This is happening in America and as of today, January 27, 2011 NOT ONE of you have come to her aid! Shame on you Democrats, Shame! After all, you are the ones who put her in jail as far as I am concerned.
I think the scool vouchers that you so fiercely fight against would have made a difference in her life and the lives of her children. This is a lady who is a small amount of hours away from becoming a teacher herself. She knows what is going on, no doubt. This is why she jumped through fiery hoops to get her kids into a better situation and school, yet we allow the system to digest another of our progressive minds. They argue that the vouchers will not pay for the entire education of a student and that suburban school districts will not accept them but I say that a voucher would have given Kelly William-Boler another option in getting her kids out of the rat race that is America’s failing public schools. Who are we to say she would not have been motivated enough to obtain, in some way (God works mysteriously), the additional funds to get her kids to a better school? I would not underestimate the resources of a determined mother. I don’t want my tax dollars going to you crumbling failing schools. I want an option that allows me to spend my dollars in the school of my choice. I am sorry but I cannot sacrifice my children’s education and lives for a social experiment gone awry long ago.
America’s public schools are under-attended by students and over-attended by gangsters. The voucher program is nothing new. Why this program was good enough for white students in the 1960’s that were fleeing newly integrated schools but not good enough for OUR kids now I am cramming to understand. Damn it feels good to be a Gangster, I mean Democrat!
I say that the jail sentence and strain on the family of Kelly William-Boler is on the back of the Teacher unions that stand to be held accountable when they have to compete directly with private schools for their funds. Competition brings out the best in Americans. Isn’t the education of our children too important to trust just one source? It is on the backs of the Democratic office holders who stand to be held accountable for their continued efforts to throw more money at failing schools instead of addressing the problem: BAD PARENTS! Her sentence and the sentence of her children are on the backs of those of you that stifle and hold back the brightest among us for your personal reasons and your statistics that attempt to justify the horrible job that you do and your continued failure to your kids and ours.
A system that works in other places around the world can work here. It is high time that everyone not continue to suffer for those that refuse to pull their own weight. Why did Obama, in 2009, move to end the voucher program that helped so many minority students in D.C. at the behest of the congressional Democrats? Talk about crab mentality. Why is it that Democrats believe in choice when aborting a baby but not when it comes to my child’s education!?
I am still waiting to see if the NAACP, Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, President Obama, or any other of our “leadership” will step up to even utter a word about this fine mothers plight. Come on Mr. President, you stepped up to help a Harvard professor who was belligerent with an officer and played the race card. Can you help this sister, please? No they will not. She offers no political, economical, or publicity capital to them. Damn Shame! Damn Shame! Black “leadership”
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Everyone wants to GO to the church and critique the pastor, deacons, and the very few people that make the organism that is the church move forward. Did you get that…THE VERY FEW PEOPLE, I said. People show up on Sunday and walk around inspecting with the swagger of a person who actually “works” in a ministry and gives their precious time more than one day a week. Do you give to your church body or do you only take away from it on Sunday morning? Everybody wants to worry about the mule, yet very few want to load the wagon. Everyone is an integral part when the heavy lifting is done, but few are around to actually do the lifting.
It seems to me that the nation probably could have had a president that was not of exclusive European heritage if enough people had previously been concerned with loading the wagon, but that had never happened. At least in our community it never happened. President Obama’s campaign seemed to galvanize the people into loading the wagon, if for only a brief moment in time. It made me think about what else can be done if we all didn’t worry so much about the mule? Our children suffer because black men are not only out of the house but are being pushed out of the house. That’s right, I said it. Too many black women are not willing to load the wagon. You chose the mule, not let him lead the wagon or do a better job at picking the next mule you hitch your wagon to. Black men are not the total blame and some of us are getting tired of being EVERYONES scapegoat. Get your stuff together and the good black man will seek you out!!!
Are there too many maybes in your life for there to be a for sure? Stop trying to be in charge of everything without putting in the time it takes to know how to take charge. You have to follow first. Following will lead you to responsible leadership. Then and only then will you be responsible enough to lead the mule. Until this happens…..load the wagon, stop worrying about the damn mule. Stop trying to Chief before you Indian. Stop trying to lead others to the Promised Land and you have no map or navigational skills to get there. Until you participate you have no moral compass to critique the happenings at the church. You just might be the person who is meant to drive the foulness out of the congregation, but first you have to be engaged in the happenings and ministries instead of just offering your commentary(gossip).
With so many people trying to direct the mule no one is checking to see if there is even anything in the wagon to pull…A Damn Shame if you ask me.