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Monday, October 31, 2011

Things can’t be fixed because no one wants to acknowledge that they are a part of the problem

In our community it is much easier to be entertained by the marks on the clothes of others. More often than not we are not willing to look at our backwards progression as issues. They are mere “choices” that we make these days. This is of course the case as long as it is someone else perpetuating the issue that we take notice of. There can be no progress without the realization that a problem exists. Usually this is not your particular problem but it IS a problem in OUR community nonetheless. Of course no one thing is exclusive to each individual situation. There is no one size fits all.

Increasingly I notice that people who fail to identify their issues pass them on to their children and community by not acknowledging an issue exists. It is too painful to point out that you are not living in a manner that is consistent with assuring progression for your people. I know! I have been guilty of this and I am still guilty of this. Three years ago in my life I realized that I was not all that I could be and set out to make a change. I am still in the process of making that change and working diligently to see it through. I had to first recognize that the thing that I was doing or not doing was not a benefit to my community, family, or to myself individually. I began working to be what I want other black men to be and am still trying to get there. I am working to make sure I can lead by my example and not by my words. I am taking away my sons ability to tell me, “Why do I have to do it, you didn’t!” I am noticing the marks on my clothes and trying my best to wash the garments clean.

There are many issues in our community that we do not want to face because it would cause discomfort to those we hold dear. We all know someone or a person who perpetuates the stereotypes that we so dearly want to make go away. We all fail to let them know that these behaviors are not positive behaviors and are a detriment to the strengthening of the black family and community. What was at one time real issue in our community are now just simply choices that people have made and it is none of your business. You may be right that it is not my business….but it is yours. No matter how you look at it …is…yours!........................AND THE COMMUNITIES!

Black men are dropping out of college at an alarming rate, black mothers are raising their children without the fathers at an even more alarming rate, many by “choice”, black parents are not as involved as they should be in the lives and education of their children, black women are chasing the wrong attributes in a man, black fathers are absent, black children are abandoning their opportunities to get an education in the inner cities of this nation, black love is choosing to co-habitate instead of marry, welfare IS the income of many black families, and we refuse to talk about any one of these that individually describes our situation. All of this and we are very willing to address the issues of others, just don’t look at mine. Without identifying your issue as a problem, it continues to exist and pass on to the next generation.

It seems that the days of making a REAL mistake and learning from it are over. No longer are these issues called mistakes to be learned from, now these are matters of choice that the rest of us need to ignore as our community rots from the inside. I vow to start with me by calling Trent out on any of the issues that were previously named and work to make my negative a positive. It is the only way I can be in a position to correct a younger generation. Be careful when telling me about my issues and problems, I just may bring your undivided attention to what you need to change!

We are not meant to exist from the benefits of welfare….that MUST CHANGE
We are meant to raise children with two parents……… that MUST CHANGE
We are not meant to be uneducated…………………. that MUST CHANGE
We are not meant to be absent from the lives of our children black men ….. that MUST CHANGE
We are not meant to live together without a commitment……… that MUST CHANGE


We are not allowed to redefine what we have done in a manner that is not about the progression of our people and tell our kids that it is OK if they decide to do the same.

Is acknowledging that you should have done things a different way that uncomfortable to you?

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