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Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Keep the division of duties between Men and Women DIVIDED!!

My wife and I once had a spirited discussion about me helping with the laundry. I am not opposed to helping with the laundry nor am I a Neanderthal of a man, but this really bothered me. You see there should be, in my opinion, a clearly bolded line that defines the separation of duties in a relationship. It helps to maintain order, it helps to teach children about our cultural definitions, and it helps in nurturing an ambiance of blissful division and cooperation.

You see women are fairly quick to ask for help as it involves the duties that are traditionally that of the female, yet they are curiously taken aback when approached for help in the duties that are befitting their male counterpart. I am often asked to help cook, clean, wash dishes and clothes, iron, fold, and even mop and wax at times. Let me state again that I have NO problem with these duties. After all, it is my abode as well. The problem begins when it is time to divide what are traditionally my duties. I get no help cutting the lawn, weed eating, changing tires and oil, grilling, cleaning the garage, cleaning the house (Hardy Plank and brick as per the Homeowners Association), there is no help with mending the fences, scrubbing patio furniture, washing vehicles, or cutting and hauling the firewood. No one helps me to clean the fireplace or chimney; I am alone in mulching and planting, etc.

You see the duties need to be divided more evenly and the responsibilities shared across the board, if this is the way it is to be. When the lines get blurred I receive no benefit, only more responsibility and duties. As a man you are expected to do all of the “manly” things and at times wash some dishes, cook some meals, and fold some clothes. If you are not willing to do this you are described as one who, “doesn’t help around the house”. What about my help? What about my assistance? Can I define her as the one who is not helping around the house?

The story goes like this: My wife and I were in the bed one night after having that spirited discussion about the equitable division of our duties as they are traditionally known. I expressed to her the importance of what I do around our home and how it contributes to the welfare of our investment as well as our lives together. She disagreed. At this I told her that we were going to split all of the duties down the middle, women’s liberation style. She continued to try to make her point and convince me of the merits of her view. About an hour later she shook me awake because she thought she heard something downstairs. She said quietly, “Trent, I think I hear something downstairs. You need to go see what it is!” I turned to her and sleepily replied, “ I went last time, it’s your turn.” Let’s keep it real and divided people. You cannot want to be treated as an equal and also want me to open your door. Choose what you will be and stop confusing us.


  1. Makes sense to me. I think we take a lil pride in what we do. Nobody seems to like to fold clothes or wash dishes. Anytime you ask me to clean or go outside and grill, huh where my charcoal at. But when I set my mind to doing those things for US, I do it with pride and await your praise. Like my mama say "Do half ass do shit"

  2. edit - "Don't half ass do shit"