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Tuesday, December 7, 2010

I aint really feeling Grandma2010

It is the end of 2010 and I have wanted to get this out of my head and onto paper for some time. I have been carefully considering the right words and correct tone as to not offend anyone. I do understand that as things progress, they do just that, they progress. The problem with some progression is it is not necessarily for the betterment of society en masse.

This leads me to ask this question: Why is Grandma getting younger and/or acting younger? I guess your answer to this question speaks to your personal experiences with your grandmother and how it will direct you to act as a grandparent one day. I think that most of us want to be a grandparent ONE DAY, RIGHT? Grandparents have always been the backbone of the African-American community. From their experiences we gained sage advice, an oral and often pictoral accounting of our history, a knowledge and expectation of what it is that we are to become, and a heritage second to no other group on this planet. Usually the strength of that backbone was the Grandmother. Grandma has been the family griot, banker and financial counselor, teacher, preacher, relationship expert, expert child-care provider, nurse-practitioner, executive family event planner, family chef, clan police and judge, intercessor to God, CEO, and all out Big Mama. Often all of this is accompanied by her love, care, and support of those that are descendant from her. Don’t get it twisted, Grandpa is isn’t lazy or tired, he just realizes…SHE GOT THIS!

That was, and in many cases, the picture of Grandma that sustained many generations that would have otherwise collapsed without her. In many cases the collapse happened without her. Many of you have experienced this. The concern happens when you see the new Grandma’s, Lord help me. I am talking about the Grandmothers that are not like the ones written about above. I met a Grandmother in the bar with her granddaughter and daughter one night while out with friends. I don’t think I was ready for that one. They looked like they were having a good time and I am sure that works for them but because of my own prejudices and opinions I thought this was not the Grandmother my kids needed.

I think that Grandma got younger all of a sudden. I think that Grandma didn’t get her chance to be young and free; I think that Grandma was not yet ready to enjoy the full blessings associated with being Grandma. Maw-Maw prayed that I would be protected when I went out and prayed even harder that God grant me the wisdom to avoid places that she knew were not in my best interest. I know this because she told me so. It may not have always worked out the way that she intended (God is still working on me), but I knew SOMEONE was praying for me no matter where I was and that person was not WITH ME. She had already been there done that before I was thought of.

It takes a gentle stroke of the keypad to put this in a way that is not offensive to the Grandma in the young club but here it goes: Are the grandkids really getting their bang for their buck? Are we raising a generation of kids that will not see Grandma in the same way that we did. Are the days of Grandma always being available over? Is Grandma’s social circle no longer the church? I do understand that this is not the picture that we all have of our Grandmothers, but dammit its mine and this is my blog! I say Grandma should be the pillar of the family and this she cannot be if she is out with the grandkids. Thank you God for my Grandmothers, you don’t make em like you used to!

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