Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Unconditional Love - Yeah right!
I am The eternal optimist. I believe the human race is essentially good. I believe that people mean good by me and really want to see me avoid harm. I know that we are born in sin and taught to do right; we just ignore our lessons sometimes. A child with no rearing will more often than not do the wrong things. Right is something of a learned behavior that is nurtured and not natural, but something we really want to live by. I am optimistic in this to a fault. I maybe even naïve.
I believe that most parents love their children unconditionally, I said MOST. I say this because some parents love their children little and some love their children not at all. This parent/child dynamic is, in my opinion, the only unconditional love these children will experience between themselves and another human in their entire lives. Let me state it clearly: A parent’s love is the only love that will be unconditional. This is if you are lucky enough to have a parent who first loves you.
Understand that all other love in your life will come with at least one condition and most of the times multiple conditions. Parents are gluttons for punishment in this way because their unconditional love will not allow them to “wash their hands” of some of you that should be left to your own conscious devices, habitual acts, heinous activities, and downright stupidity and ignorance. Even though this is in you, your parents love never diminishes. Your parents will still profess their love for you when Texas is wheeling you in by gurney to answer for the murders of many including your relatives and even an attempt on that parent’s life. Google Bart Whitaker to see just one example of this unconditional love.
Others will profess to love you unconditionally but they lie. A spouse will love you until you cheat enough, kill a loved one, spend their life savings, and a whole host of other misdeeds. This love is not unconditional. You cannot just apologize to a spouse for ANYTHING. There is a line in each marriage that is to not be crossed, I promise. Cross this line and the love turns to hate and disgust. The same is true of relatives, friends, and others that profess to love you unconditionally. There is a line to their loving you and you will reap the punishment and drought of their particular love when this line is jumped.
This conditional love even exists in your children. They love their parents as long as they are useful and doing their bidding. Many of us carry this conditional love for our parents into our adult lives. Many of us think that we love them unconditionally until it is time to change their soiled diapers. Watch the way they treat Big Mama! This is not everyone. If it is you-check yourself. If the good lord blesses you, you too will be Big Mama or Big Daddy one day. I am just thankful that this is not true of all children.
No other human being will love you unconditionally through all of your stink, mess, ugliness, candor, stupidity, foolishness, mistakes, misjudgments, falsehoods, crimes, lies, etc. Everyone else will cut you off and “wipe their hands of you” except your parents.
The next time someone tells you that they love you unconditionally; you don’t have to challenge them. You just need to know that they are not your parents and they have a line that you should not cross. This line that should not be crossed exist with your parents also, it’s just that they are really too in love with you to not give you a million chances.