Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Is your child hanging with the wrong crowd, or is your child THE WRONG CROWD?
Ever really think about who the “wrong crowd” is? We hear often that someone was hanging out with the wrong crowd, or that someone’s child started associating with the wrong crowd and this was instrumental in the social behavior declination. My mother even told me to watch the crowd and company you keep, she told this to all of her six children. My father did the same. In fact, I am sure that every parent worth their weight in a pile of trash has expressed this to their dear children, nieces, nephews, cousins, and grandchildren. This is sage advice and it usually comes from experience. I know this to be great advisement, believe me!
When my mother was expressing this to me, I wondered who and where this crowd was. You see, she never gave me any specifics about this “wrong crowd” that I was to avoid.She really never gave me any names. It would have been instrumental in my development and oh so less stressful in avoiding issues if I knew, by name, the personalities in the “wrong crowd”. Many people, many problems, anonymous villains. I have a real issue with this.
You see, no one wants their child to be the “wrong crowd”. Delinquency in youth is often disguised as cute. Let’s repeat that… Delinquency in youth is often disguised as cute. She is so cute dancing to “Back that thang up”. He is so cute trying to sag his pants, or gangster walk, or screaming “white power”. Often parents that ARE themselves the “wrong crowd” encourage this behavior. The greater problem is that no one tells them that they are the “wrong crowd”. I can remember in my military days my sister got into a bit of trouble. My mother called me and told me that she had taken in with the “wrong crowd”. Although no parent wants to hear this, I told my mother that my dear sister WAS the “wrong crowd”. This seemed to be a revelation to her and not something she was prepared to confront. I have been one who always felt that acknowledgement of an issue is 1A in bringing a resolution to that issue. I thought that I was doing my mother a favor in letting her know that her child was the one that other people warned their children to stay away from.
Like almost any parent, she did not want to receive this. By not bringing this to the light and dealing with it, a monster was created. This monster still desires much attention in our family. Many times parents ignore the 1 ton elephant in the room. I hope you realize that everyone else notices it and they smell the stench as well.
Please recognize if your child is the “wrong crowd”, recognize if you are the “wrong crowd”. Try your best to deal with the issue head on because the fight is one that is well worth having and it will be an arduous battle. The enemy, whatever it may be, is strong as well as being up for the battle. If you do not deal with the elephant it will grow, and grow, and grow, and there will be no more room in the house for others to visit you. It will be just you and the 5 ton elephant in the room! Is your child the “wrong crowd”?