Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Sometimes the solution IS the problem
The world is not designed for everyone to be successful. As cruel as this sounds, there is a need for victimhood. Victimhood creates industry for those that want to sale products and services. If everyone did things the right way, I feel pretty sure in saying that most people reading this would be devoid of a reputable career. We all need screwups, wrongdoers, advice-ignorers, and just plain unproductive people. Our own screwups, as well, create jobs for others. Do you really believe EVERY doctor wants you to practice healthy eating habits, exercise daily, and practice Tai chi chuan? Have you ever thought about the fact that judges are lawyers too? And you thought your simple indiscretion could be easily handled with ONE court date.
With this being true of us all, there are also those that generally don’t want to get it right. For these people, fixing their issue would be the problem. Everyone is not really looking forward to living a stress-free existence. Some people like being in, around, or a contributor to confusion. They like drama. It is up to the service renderer to determine if the person or persons receiving your service, knowledge, advice, council, resources, and time are redeemable or a person with whom drama will continue to find fertile ground.
You see, these people are not interested in your solution. What they are interested in is your attention, time, and resources. You continue to expend all of the above and you start to believe that maybe, juuust maybe, your approach is their issue. It is! You have to let some people either reach their bottom or live in their own self imposed sentence of heartache. You can’t help them all, I’ve tried!
Did you really believe that in a world of 6 billion people Olive Oil could not find a way to stop running into to Brutus? I don’t think that poor Popeye ever realized that stopping Brutus from harassing her would be the real issue. He just kept downing more and more spinach to get her out of her latest predicament. Funny how some youngsters now call money spinach. Saving career victims from their adversaries can create THE problem. It gives them nothing to blame and many of them can’t have that!
Often your attempts to reconcile their issue instead of feeding it are met with disdain and name calling. Have you ever heard these?
You are not better than me.
You forgot where you came from
Everybody aint like you
Or the best one….I will do it later(fix the issue)
You must decide if each issue is worthy of your continued effort or if you need to stand away and be there when the person really needs you to help them help themselves. You can’t fix everyone or every problem, but you can start by fixing the way you handle your service, knowledge, advice, council, resources, and time as it pertains to a revolving issue…think about it!
There are those among us who continue to have the EXACT SAME issue all the time, even when all other players and factors are interchanged. They remain the common denominator. Different mate, same problem. Different job, same problem. Different child, same problem. Different place of worship, same problem. Different neighborhood or house, same problem. Different WHATEVER.....SAME PROBLEM!
Some people don't want to be saved, they just want the attention that comes from chronically being the victim.