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Tuesday, August 17, 2010

When your child is in trouble...PARENT!

Parenting is as complex an action as there is in a human beings existence. Wise parents understand that the earthly thing you love the most, your most precious asset, will someday cause you the most misery. This is not because every child is destined to be other than a great and valued asset to humanity. It is because of our expectations. Some live vicariously through the lives of their children forever advising the child against becoming what they want to be and with caution extolling the values of what we have learned from our own experiences. Be very careful to live your life and not your child’s. No two children are alike. No two children require the same from a parent, even if you had them both. You cannot love all of your children the same. You must love them as differently as they are. Since this is true, there is no CORRECT formula for raising all of them to be productive people that accomplish great things. All are not burdened with great accomplishments. Some people need to just do the work. There is great value in those that just want to collect a paycheck. If everyone had the dog-eat-dog drive, all dogs won’t go to Heaven. To be a parent is to adopt the life of a chameleon. You must blend into your surroundings while also accepting the fact that you are still the same on the inside.

No exact science to this, although there are some principles that are to be respected in followed in any attempt to raise seeds to adulthood. You have to water and feed them first. Teach them how to act, how to treat others, how to treat and care for themselves, and how to respect what is to be respected, especially culturally and spiritually. These principles are true of every culture.
Some people tend to give up on their children when one or more of these principles are not followed by the child. Let me make sure I state this so that all can understand: ANYONE CAN PARENT A GOOD CHILD. CHILDREN THAT ARE OTHER THAN THIS ARE GIVEN TO SPECIAL PEOPLE! It is these special people that usually stand between us and a society that deteriorates in a matter of days or maybe hours. Every child will do something(s) wrong. It is at this point that you are called to your eventual destiny as a parent instead of a donor or vessel. When that child is in jail it is not the time to give up. When that child is in harm’s way or in the lifestyle that is opposed to a prosperous life, the world would thank you to begin your parenting at that moment! Never mind what others say. Your child deserves a parent, no matter what they have done. Until one of us is no longer breathing, I will be Sanaa Jolie and Trennan Ziare’s Dad. Nothing that they can do can take that away, NOTHING. Everyone who is a parent faces some shame or doubt, or regret for an action of their child. Just make sure you know that this does not mean you are allowed to have less love, No, I think that you are forced to have more love. You should understand that the situation is not only about you and the child but about those that watch and talk as well.

In mysterious ways, your dilemma is also an awakening, an opportunity to learn, a showcase of your love, a learning experience, a test, a real matter of life that is meant to benefit someone else as well as you and yours. Please be aware that you may be being used to help another realize the potential in their situation. As a parent, please do not judge yourself by the missteps of your children. They are great opportunities to be the parent that you are meant to be. Do not give up. If you do you may be giving up on more than just your child.

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