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Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Everyone should be cheated on, at least once!

Everyone should experience certain physical, emotional, and spiritual adversity before calling themselves a grown-up. Presumably, this is 18 or 21 for most of us. Although we try to avoid these issues in our lives, in some respect, making it through many of these issues contributes to making you a whole person. I want you to understand that this does not mean that you are not a whole person if none of these issues befall you, but we all know that much greatness is born out of stress.

Do you really believe that Tupac could have been Tupac if not for his life’s turmoil? Out of the great suffering he endured as a child, the Zulu warrior king Shaka emerged. Because of the rigors of her upbringing, Oprah Winfrey is one of the richest and most powerful people in the world. We cannot discount the significance of struggle to bring about a better you. In the hood such incidents are referred to as “stripes”. Getting stripes is the struggle as well as putting in the work of recovery from this struggle. Many times this takes on a negative. May God bless those in that lifestyle…there is a way out but we will confront that later.

You cannot truly learn to ride a bike until you have experienced falling off of it. This allows you to realize that a fall from heights is not the end and recovery is possible. When I first took my daughter ice skating I pushed her down at the beginning. This was to allow her to see that the fall was not as bad as she anticipated. She no longer feared the fall and now gracefully slides. She still falls sometimes, but she no longer needs daddy to pick her up. I’m not really feeling that part but it had to happen.

Not until I realized my heart being broken could I dare be a man that was worthy of marriage. This may sound stupid, but I didn't realize it hurt so much. I ignorantly though, “Oh women recover, she’ll be alright.” This realization made me a better man for my following relationships and also a man someone wanted to marry. Everyone should have their heart broken before they are grown; it takes so much of your focus off the other person and usually makes you deal with you. Everyone should have a pet die, it teaches acceptance of the circle of life. Everyone should fall off of a bike, it teaches you to get back up. Everyone should not reach a tremendously worked for goal, failure makes you dust yourself off and try again, harder. Everyone should be hated on, not until this happens do you realize they have no power over you. Everyone should lose a fight; this makes you a better fighter and teaches you humility. Everyone should be cheated on, at least once, then you know how it feels and hopefully you realize it is just a storm. It also allows you to honestly reevaluate yourself……we aint perfect ya’ll.

Realizing these things while you have youth saves you from wanting to jump from a building as an adult. Don’t help your children avoid these things, help them manage these issues. Not much is hated more than an adult who is not prepared for adversity. This person is the last person most of us want to answer a call from. They are the needy ones. If your friends don’t want to tell you this….there it is NOW YOU KNOW. Adversity happens so that one day you too have the armor to deal with life’s bullets. I promise you this, they will never stop coming toward you as long as you are breathing. Getting through these things assures you that IT IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD… will recover! Keep your faith in one hand and your experience in the other.

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